Dropping ‘Chores’ from My Vocabulary

Last week I had given my daughter and her friend a list of chores to do each day while I was at work. There were only a few things for them to do but as soon as I said the word “chores” they got defensive and started grumbling.

It was while I was explaining to them why they do chores that I decided that I was no longer going to call them that. I realized that while they do the chores to earn allowance and do their part in taking care of the home they live in, the most important thing is that I’m imparting on them skills that they will need when they become adults.

This got me to thinking about that last part of it. They’re learning how to load and empty the dishwasher, sweep, do laundry, take out the trash, and so on. These are important basic skills they need to have so that when they get to college or their first apartment on their own they’re not calling to say “How do I do this?” or “What do I need to do that?” They will already know.

I also have always disliked the word chores. It just sounds unpleasant and negative. Maybe it has something to do with my memories of having to do chores when I was a child, not that I had a lot of them but I remember grimacing every time my parents used the word. My daughter and her friends all have the same reaction.

What could I do to change that? For me the answer was simple: come up with a new name for them.

So now I call it Life Experience Training, or LETs. It is much more positive sounding and better describes what it is. I explained to the kids my reasons for changing the name and that I’m doing this as much to help them as I am to get the stuff done. They still roll their eyes when they read their LETs for the day but I definitely don’t get as much grumbling.

YMMV but for us it is working out pretty well.

Nintendo Labelling Charges Anger

A few years ago my daughter got an Nintendo DS for Christmas. It arrived with a Spongebob accessory pack featuring that lovely yellow on the headphones and car charger. Needless to say, the charger that came with the DS and the one with the accessory pack have gone missing. They're probably in the house somewhere but your guess is as good as mine as to where that might be.

Last night I got an urgent text message from my daughter. "We can't find my cousin's charger!" So I suggest that before they leave for the water park today they stop at Target to get a charger. This is a well received idea and they do that. Problem? It wasn't a DS charger but a DS Lite charger.

It seems they decided to make all the DS accessories incompatible to the DS Lite ones. (I won't get into how much I hate that marketing tactic, suffice it to say it is one of the worst for consumers.) Argh! So they're both going to do without their DS for the two hour round trip to the water park. I told her I'd stop and pick one up before driving down to New Jersey to get her later today and she was most grateful.

I decided to try Circuit City first as I know they have a decent selection of accessories for video games. I find the DS section and start looking at the chargers. I discovered very quickly that it seems the stuff for the DS is being phased out to make room for the sleeker, more stylish DS Lite. That's certainly understandable. What I don't understand, however, is why they didn't change the logo for the Lite version.

All the packages had the lovely Nintendo DS logo on it, then in significantly smaller letters an indication that it was for the DS Lite only. As you can see in this picture. It took me 15 minutes to find one that would actually still charge the original DS and I had the sales guy look at it to make sure the label was right and it would in fact charge my daughter's DS.

I will be writing a letter to Nintendo and whatever government body oversees their labelling practices. The lack of change to the logo for the DS Lite is misleading to buyers. Most of the packaging I saw at Circuit City lacked the bright blue sticker drawing your attention to the fact that it is for the DS Lite only. Even the guy who worked at Circuit City had to read each package closely to see if it would work with the original DS. It would be an easy fix to the logo, too -- just run the letters LITE alongside the DS vertically. Simple, simple fix and there would be no more confusion for consumers. Will anything change? Probably not. But I can't just sit here and watch consumers be tricked by faulty labelling either.

10 Secrets of Great Moms: Part 9

Recently I got a newsletter from WebMD with some parenting articles that they thought I might be interested in. The first was an item from Redbook called “10 Secrets of Great Moms” (published April 11, 2008). The author basically got advice from 10 moms on a variety of topics from bringing baby home to sleeping to feelings to homework. I thought it might be fun to share my advice on the same topics.

Sleep Easy
I can pretty much sleep anywhere and through just about anything. I wanted to achieve the same thing for my daughter, if possible. I had read that in order to achieve my goal it meant my daughter had to become accostumed to hearing noises when she slept.

That was easy enough. Her bedroom was connected to the kitchen where there was a dishwasher and clothes washer, and to use the only bathroom in the house we needed to go through the kitchen. Not only that, we lived on a very busy street that often had large trucks and emergency vehicles going up and down it at all hours of the day.

Did it work? Definitely! By the time she was sleeping through the night she was able to sleep through just about any noise. We could take her to the book store at 8pm and she would sleep the entire time we were there, the noises and lights a total non-issue.

At 12 years old she can pretty much fall asleep wherever she is – the car, a friend’s house, a hot air balloon festival, etc. Life is so unpredictible and subject to change so being able to fall asleep and sleep well in strange and unusual places is something that will serve her well throughout her life.

The mom from the article recommending letting the baby sleep in the living room during the day, especailly if there are other kids in the household, to help them become accustomed to the noises. She said, “A well-napped child is happier and makes for a happier mom too!”

I couldn’t agree more!

10 Secrets of Great Moms: Part 8

Recently I got a newsletter from WebMD with some parenting articles that they thought I might be interested in. The first was an item from Redbook called “10 Secrets of Great Moms” (published April 11, 2008). The author basically got advice from 10 moms on a variety of topics from bringing baby home to sleeping to feelings to homework. I thought it might be fun to share my advice on the same topics.

Prioritize Family Dinner
When I was a kid there was no choice about it. Dinner was everyone sitting down at the kitchen table and eating together. It was at the same time every day, except Sundays when we occasionally ate a bit earlier. My mother and/or grandmother would do the cooking and we very rarely had a meal that wasn’t freshly cooked. This was the same with all my friends and their families.

The mom from the article said they went back to having family meals to help improve her son’s behavior. She eliminates TV, phone calls, and guests and requires everyone to sit down at the table together. She said it has definitely helped.

Studies have shown that having the whole family sits down together has far reaching affects. Communication is improved, academics tend to improve, the family as a whole eats healthier, develop healthier eating habits and it helps improve their development.

This is something that has been important to our family in the past but we have gotten away from it. I generally cook a meal and we do eat together, just not at the kitchen table and we’re usually doing something else – either watching TV or are at our computers. We have a great bond, open communication, she already does exceptional in school. However, we do lack the healthy eating habits and don’t have the healthiest of diets.

So I’ve decided to change that. We’ve gotten the kitchen table back out, bought new cushions for the chairs in the kitchen and pulled out the old tablecloths. Now we just need to break away from the TV and computer and sit at the kitchen table. Maybe we’ll start that tonight.

10 Secrets of Great Moms: Part 7

Recently I got a newsletter from WebMD with some parenting articles that they thought I might be interested in. The first was an item from Redbook called “10 Secrets of Great Moms” (published April 11, 2008). The author basically got advice from 10 moms on a variety of topics from bringing baby home to sleeping to feelings to homework. I thought it might be fun to share my advice on the same topics.

Make Bath Time a Treat
I think one of the most difficult times of the day, regardless of how old my daughter is, has always been bath time. There is just something about it that all kids seem to hate and their dislike grows the older they get so anything you can do to encourage the behavior is a good thing.

The mom in the article suggested dropping the bottles of soap and lotion into the warm bathwater to warm the liquids up. That’s a great idea, and something I never thought of intentionally doing. The bottles inevitably ended up falling in and by the time they were wrestled away from the toddler who had decided it was a surf board for their Barbie the stuff inside had a chance to warm up.

I don’t remember baths much from when I was a kid except for when my sister got the chicken pox on our way to Illinois for a family gathering. We both got to sit in oatmeal baths much of the time we were there. Understandably, she wasn’t very pleased with that turn of events. She was even less pleased when I didn’t get those itchy red spots until after we had returned home and got to miss school.

For my daughter, we always had an assortment of toys for her to play with from boats to cups and funnels to dolls and rubber ducks. She had crayons for writing on the walls, fun soaps and anything else we could think of to make getting in the tub more fun so she would actually want to take a bath.

Now that she’s nearly a teen and her body has started to change bathing has become even more important. It’s still a difficult task, especially since she thinks it as a huge time waster and takes way from things she’d much rather be doing. So we’ve been working on trying to find a time that is more ‘convenient’ for her and will, hopefully, make the process easier on both of us.

10 Secrets of Great Moms: Part 6

Recently I got a newsletter from WebMD with some parenting articles that they thought I might be interested in. The first was an item from Redbook called “10 Secrets of Great Moms” (published April 11, 2008). The author basically got advice from 10 moms on a variety of topics from bringing baby home to sleeping to feelings to homework. I thought it might be fun to share my advice on the same topics.

Banish Boo-Boo Fears
If kids are good at one thing it is falling, getting scrapes and generally hurting themselves one way or another. Their reaction to getting hurt very much depends on yours. If you freak out then they’re going to freak out but if you’re calm and approach it matter of factly then they will still cry and be upset but not nearly as much.

The mom from the article gave some advice on dealing with blood. She suggested using a dark washcloth so that you can’t see the blood. She also suggested storing them in plastic bags in the freezer. Both are great pieces of advice and I don’t think I can offer better for those things.

When I was a nanny, my second job was working with a baby. He was about 9 months old when I started. He was just starting to stand up and trying to walk, and, needless to say, there was a lot of falling down and “going boom”.

My reaction when he fell was to say in a silly voice, “Oh, poor baby! Did you go fall and go boom?” It would completely diffuse his crying while acknowledging that he’d fallen. We would move on after a quick examination to make sure he hadn’t actually hurt himself and a hug/kiss.

As first time parents, his mom and dad would freak out every time he fell – they’d run over to him, franticly pick him up and check all over to make sure he hadn’t hurt himself while he cried and cried. They learned quickly not to do that anymore and there was a lot less anxiety in the house while he learned to get around on his own two feet.

This technique has worked with kids of all ages, including some grown ups. Another thing to do, especially if you have to clean up a wound or do other stuff to the site of the injury, is distract them with some jokes or talking. Strangely enough, this works for the hiccups too! Though my dad always insisted that the best cure for hiccups was to talk about purple elephants with pink polka dots. YMMV!