10 Secrets of Great Moms: Part 4

Recently I got a newsletter from WebMD with some parenting articles that they thought I might be interested in. The first was an item from Redbook called “10 Secrets of Great Moms” (published April 11, 2008). The author basically got advice from 10 moms on a variety of topics from bringing baby home to sleeping to feelings to homework. I thought it might be fun to share my advice on the same topics.

Win the Sweets War
Ahhh … the wonderful world of candy and desserts. I admit, I love candy and desserts. They’re just so … yummy! I confess, I don’t have much of a problem with this and my daughter. She’s not much of a candy eater and didn’t develop a love for chocolate until a few years ago. I avoid much of the problem with this by not letting her have access to a lot of candy and the snacks we have in the house aren’t usually sugary.

The mom from the article said she included the dessert on their dinner plate with the rest of their food and makes sure the dessert is small enough not to fill them up if they decide to eat that first. When I read that I was like, “What the heck? Dessert at every meal? Is she crazy?”

Desserts have never been a problem in my household because from day one my daughter was never allowed to think that she was going to get one following every meal. My husband and I never had dessert after every dinner. It was a treat maybe once or twice a week, usually reserved for Sunday dinner. For my family, it was generally either pudding or J-ello, sometimes pie or a Pepperidge Farms cake. Nothing elaborate and definitely not something to be expected after every meal.

I don’t believe in bribes usually and definitely not for something that should simply be done. When it comes to meals you sit down and you eat. That’s it. No questions asked. No reward for doing it.

If your child isn’t eating their meals then you need to find out why, not try to bribe them with dessert. Using food as bribes does more than just the damage typically associated with bribes. It also sets up unhealthy eating habits and contributes to childhood obesity.

An article on childhood obesity from The Cleveland Clinic web site says, “Try not to use food to punish or reward your child. Withholding food as a punishment may lead children to worry that they will not get enough food. For example, sending children to bed without any dinner may cause them to worry that they will go hungry. As a result, children may try to eat whenever they get a chance. Similarly, when foods, such as sweets, are used as a reward, children may assume that these foods are better or more valuable than other foods. For example, telling children that they will get dessert if they eat all of their vegetables sends the wrong message about vegetables.” (The full article can be found here.)